The Graduation Party...

It was almost time to get dressed. I left the video game in Jerry’s hands and went downstairs to prepare myself. A quick shower just to take out the sweat of my body was enough. I ironed a shirt and started dressing. Small socks, football socks and shoes; pants, a long sleeved blue shirt, the normal striped shirt and the suit would be the last. I went to the bathroom to shave and to try to put the hair someway that didn’t seem ridiculous. Pulled here, combed there, put it to the right and it wasn’t that bad. I put the suit and that was it, time to go.

I went up to meet Chun Li and Mrs. Hakkinen. They were ready. Chun Li’s brother called asking us to buy some flowers so I needed to go with Chun Li for them. Meanwhile Mrs. Hakkinen was waiting for the actor. That night was freaking cold but it wasn’t snowing, even though all those snow on the streets was making me crazy. We manage to get out of the house and were heading to the subway. We stopped in a small market and bought the flowers, then went back to the metro station and went to the center.

As we arrived to the station we saw Mrs. Hakkinen and she was waiting for us with the actor. We went out and went to an old building. Just in the entrance I looked up and saw a man sat on a dead horse that was upside down. The sculpture was on the ceiling… Those kind of things you can just see in Prague. We were going forward until we could see some glass structure. Chun Li’s brother was there impatient waiting for us.

Chun Li gave the flowers to him and received the invitations to get inside the building. We took a photo outside and got into the building. We went downstairs where we could leave our coats. Going forward I could see a huge saloon with some corridors upstairs that looked like cabin. Chun Li’s brother leaded us to a table asking us to wait until the party started, he would be with his girlfriend’s family.

Chun Li`s Brother, Mrs. Hakkinen, the actor and I

If you think that a Czech graduation party is like Brazilian, where people just want to eat and drink for free, you are completely wrong. I also thought it would be like this and misunderstood the thing. I was lucky that I took my wallet with some cash. The place was a bit stuffy and quickly I got thirsty. The actor then asked if I wanted to drink something. Ow! He said just what I wanted to hear. It was time for a beer to cheer up. Chun Li and her mother didn’t want any alcohol so they decided to drink some juice.

Chun-Li, myself and the actor

The actor asked me to go to the bar with him. He ordered two beers and the juices. The best part was that he PAID! That’s it, he paid. What a disappointment, I thought I would eat and drink for free and what I saw was a paid bar. Bastards. I was a bit upset but I had no other choice, it was to pay or to pay. When I was standing there the students started some sort of parade on the hall divided by classes. There were so many students that seemed they came from some market in New Delhi. I didn’t want to drink beer on that party, so I decided to change for whisky, it was the same price anyway.

A woman that was with some guy and sat at the table in front of ours was staring at us. She analyzed me upside down and smiled. I replied with a fake smile. If the man who was with her saw something like that it would be a mess for sure. I stood up and bought another glass for the actor that was telling some crazy story. He suddenly saw some student and said:

- Oh my God, such huge boobs! I am astonished. I want her.

Crazy guy, he didn’t approach any girl but was always on fire. So I said:

- Yeah, she looks like krava.

Krava in Czech means cow, but also means bitch. I didn’t know this one. Chun Li stepped strongly on my foot saying that I should be aware of what I was saying. The actor just laughed while the other guests looked strangely at me.

- Krava also means bitch. – Chun Li explained.

What a shame. The stupid boy was trying to show off and saying crap. At least nothing wrong happened. My ignorance was forgiven. The party continued downstairs with the students. A singer that graduated in the same university was presenting himself singing some popular Czech songs. Meanwhile I was in my second glass of whisky with the actor. Mrs. Hakkinen bought some snacks for us to help the drinking. She couldn’t stop taking photos.

- It’s important to take pictures, I have lots of photo material at home to use. – that’s what she said holding her old camera.

After the singers performance it was time for a professional dancer that also graduated in the university. She would show lots of kinds of dances including SAMBA! I needed to see that. She started with waltz, then salsa, meringue, lambada, blablabla, and then samba. What a shame, the woman danced samba the same way she was dancing waltz, but just a bit quicker. Lame.¬¬

After the freaky samba style of the girl there was some guys dancing break. I don’t know why but I don’t like when some guys dance break, seems like they have no rhythm. To do the stuff is possible with practice, but to do the moves in the rhythm you must know how to dance!

Finally the greatest moment of the night was to come. The students took some kind of large blanket with some stuff written and started shaking it. They were around the huge blanket like firemen asking for people to jump. But in this case instead of asking for jumping, they were asking for people to throw money. Their objective was simple, the money they received was the money for the alcohol, so they wouldn’t pay a single coin for that, but they would get drunk anyway. ¬¬

They didn’t pay a beer for me and I had to throw them my money. I took five coins of 10 Czech Crowns and threw them. Everyone throwing lots of money and I didn’t want to look like Scrooge the duck, so I threw the coins in 4 or 5 seconds intervals, this way it seemed I threw a lot. It was for a good cause anyway, they needed to get drunk. The students were enjoying their moment looking like crazy people looking for money.

It was time for us to dance. Everybody was going to the dance floor while the DJ played nice songs. Old songs, Czech songs, American songs, he played everything. Chun Li really wanted to dance, but I was still drinking my last shot. As my mother knowledge says not to leave my glass away in a party, I gave Chun Li a suggestion.

- Why don’t you go with the actor? – I said.

The actor then took Chun Li’s hand and took her downstairs. Mrs. Hakkinen was just laughing.

- What happened? – I asked.

- You just said to the actor to take her downstairs to dance, but he just can’t dance.

How would I know that. Anyway, I finish my glass and decided to go to the toilet. The woman that was looking at me before followed me. At the toilet door, before I got inside she stopped me and said:

- I liked you. Are you alone?

What a mess, imagine if the guy that was with this lady appeared there just at this moment and does something.

- Behave yourself. – I told her smiling.

- I can behave myself if you take my number. – She said giving me a business card.

I thanked her and got inside quickly. I was praying for the husband of the lady or whatever he was not to appear and kick my ass while I was peeping. I was lucky he didn’t appear. I went back to my table and breathed deeply. So many crazy people were appearing. Meanwhile, Mrs. Hakkinen was trying to show me where Chun Li and the actor were. I’ve never seen her so red. She seemed a bit ashamed to be dancing with someone so crazy. They didn’t stay even five minutes downstairs. I was laughing loud because of them, and laughing even more seeing Chun Li’s face. When back the actor seemed to be really happy and his dance partner was disappointed. I felt I should have gone instead of him and by that invited her to the dance floor again.

We had a great time that night: the actor commenting the huge boobs of the student, the nice old style camera of Mrs. Hakkinen, dancing and drinking. When we went back to our table we saw the actor talking to Chun Li’s brother about his girlfriend. He came there to show his girlfriend and family to his mother and us. We greeted her on the party and felt it was time to go home before the actor that was already a bit drunk decided to do something wrong.



BR Na Europa!

Haircut in the 'HOSTEL'

The main purpose that I went back to Prague was to take my stuff and go back to Poland, but as that EU thing appeared I thought I could stay there. Early morning I called the Brazilian embassy to have an appointment with the consul. When I did that, Mrs. Hakkinen appeared saying that we had an invitation for a party. Her son`s girlfriend was graduating and it would be nice to go. I accepted the invitation but I had a problem. I really needed a haircut.

As Jerry, the youngest Hakkinen, was also with a terrible haircut, Mrs. Hakkinen decided to take us to her hairdresser. I was bit worried because it`s not everyone that knows how to cut an afro hair. Hehe. Ok, mine is not that hard nor afro, but compared to Czech ones mine is a bit ”hardcore”.

- There is no problem, Belino. The hairdresser has a husband with that kind of hair as well; she will make a good job. – So, you noticed that the thing was a bit strange, right?

The three of us went to the hairdresser. We head towards the center, went out in the Muzeum station and changed lines. We went out two stations before one of the biggest malls in Prague. The residential place is reach and really nice. Block of flats area is creepy. I`d never passed through there, but it reminded me some Polish streets. Really creepy.

We arrived at a building and Mrs. Hakkinen used the phone. Jerry and I were with here, but with no desire to participate in the ‘beauty section’. It would be better to stay home playing Halo, but as I needed to show myself well at the party, the haircut was really necessary, besides, my hair when long is terrible.

The door opened and we saw a small corridor in front. It was dark and inside we could see stairs. Have you watched the ‘Hostel’? If yes I would say that I felt like in that movie. It was the same feeling. Crazy thing. The smell was also strange. Smelled like old stuff. Jerry seemed not to care and went forward going up the stairs. I was hesitating about getting in. Mrs. Hakkinen noticed that and said:

- Let`s go, we`re late.

You can think that I`m a fool, but I thought: ‘Will they take out my ribs like in the movies just because I didn`t marry her daughter?’ That was on my mind while I was going upstairs. On the stairs there were some small windows that allowed the sunlight to get in, but it got “cut” by the fence and that made the environment even creepier. We arrived at the last floor and one of the doors opened.

A blonde lady smiled and started talking to Mrs. Hakkinen. We got in; it was a small room with some hairdresser stuff. I could breathe properly after taking out those scenes of my mind. Jerry was the first to have the haircut and after him it would be my turn. I took one of those gossip magazines that you always find in hairdressers and took a look while waiting.

Jerry`s haircut didn`t take long and it was already my turn. The woman told me to sit on the chair. I relaxed and she covered me with some robe. That`s when the problem started. She asked something about the haircut and I was there with my lonely dog face understating nothing. The woman didn`t speak English at all. I pointed here, pointed there, smashed my hair to show the height I wanted... The thing was really complicated. So I decided to ask Jerry to translate something for me:

- You are the professional. Please do what you think will be better.

Jerry translated and she said:

- Dobrý. – Or something like that, I don`t really remember what I`ve learned in Czech.

She started to cut. Cut here, machine there. Terrible, I was looking in the mirror and seeing how bad was it. It wasn`t nothing similar to my traditional haircut. It would be better if I was bald.

It was done. I sincerely didn`t like because it was a bit strange. Besides, the way she combed it was terrible. Maybe with some different clothes no one would notice at the party. Better forget about it.

Mrs. Hakkinen was supposed to do something that would take time and asked us to GO home. She said she would pay everything and for me not to bother. At night, around 10pm, we had the party to go. Jerry and I went back to the apartment to enjoy the rest of the afternoon playing some video-game. The night was waiting for me…

BR Na Europa!

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Back to Prague with a plague... ¬¬

As it wasn’t that cold I was hoping that I wouldn’t suffer that much when coming back to Prague, as I did on my way to Łódź. It would be a bit complicated to spend eighteen hours inside a train again. I knew I wouldn’t have the same patience to face it. That trip should be calm and quick, because I needed to arrive to Prague before dinner. I also thought it wouldn’t be nice to arrive that late at the Hakkinen’s place. I had keys and everything, but it would be a bit rude to arrive and talk to no one.

While the train was heading to Katowice I prayed for it not to delay. I also noticed how full the wagon was. Maybe because it was morning it was so crowded, I didn’t really know. The only thing I knew was that I felt safer. I’d promised myself no more night trains, and like that I thought it would be.

The trip was wonderful in its first part. I managed to enjoy the environment without frustration. In three hours and a half I was in “Mordor”, sorry, Katowice. That place was scary no matter when I was there. As I knew what to do in the station now, I stopped, looked and the board and saw the schedule. I had to wait one hour and a half for the other train. The cold inside the hall was terrible and the wind was making it worse. The pigeons were flying like they were aiming on people’s heads, it was crazy. At least they didn’t poop on me.

Priceless Girl made some sandwiches for my trip. It was good because I didn’t need to buy food. I went to the coffee shop to spend some time there. I had a coffee and that was it. I still had forty five minutes in that cold hell. As you know, the coffee shop was really small and I couldn’t stay there with just a cup holding the place. So I went out and went to the known bench in front of the information desk. It was around -16ºC.

I ate a chocolate and took the bible to read. I was praying hard not to get stucked in half way again, when I saw a guy with a foreigner’s face next to me. He was walking around like crazy.

- Strange guy. – I thought. – He doesn’t have Polish face, or even it doesn’t seem that he is from this part of the world, better leave him alone, I don’t want problems.

It was time to go to the train. I took my stuff and went to the platform. The train was already waiting to departure. I got inside, look for an empty cabin as usual and settled myself. The train was really warm, I had nothing to complain about. I sat, put my chIpod and waited for departure. After some minutes the crazy dude that was walking here and there appeared at my cabin’s door asking in English if he could sit there as well. As I wasn’t the owner of anything I told him to get inside. He went in, took out almost 30kg of clothes and jackets and sat. He was breathing like a desperate guy and had reason for that. As soon as he got inside the cabin, the train departured.

- Thank God I managed to take the train. – he said in Portuguese.

- Oh, do you speak Portuguese, dude? – I asked happy.

- Yeah, I do man! Where are you from?

- I’m from Salvador. How about you?

- I’m from São Paulo. Do you live here in Poland?

- No, I’m just visiting. I’m going back to Prague.

- Ah! So you already know Prague? Does it worth seeing? I’m heading there too.

So it started the one person conversation. He started telling the story about his trip and where he was in Europe. Berlin, Amsterdam, Stockholm, Oslo... And he was leaving Krakow to go to Prague. The thing was that everything was ok, but the guy didn’t stop talking for a single moment. It was a really boring monologue. The guy was excited because he was feeling cold. What kind of excitement is it? What a masoquist! He just couldn’t stop talking for a second...about the cold in Sweeden, all of the places he’d seen in Berlin, that he Loved Berlin, that he would go back to Berlin, that he didn’t like Netherlands, that he’d seen nothing special in Copenhagen… Ah! I’m tired just remembering that.

So I had the unbeatable chIpod tactics. I started slowly looking for the earphones of chIpod, I chose the noisiest song I had, put on maximum volume, and when he stopped to breathe, Puf! I put it. But guess what. Not even this way the guy stopped talking And worse, the chIpod battery died. I was condemned to listen to that boring conversation during the whole trip… 6 hours.

He talked, talked, talked and suddenly got tired. I wasn’t even listening. I know it was a bit rude, but I was really stressed with all that cheap talk. After some hours of trip we arrived in Ostrava.

- Is it still far away? – he asked.

- Around 5 hours more. When we arrive in Konin it will be close, so check the signs. – I answered.

He probably noticed that I wasn’t in the mood for talking and stopped talking. Then we were going in silence, sorry, with just the train’s noise and I managed to take a nap. The trip was too long. In some small city after Ostrava the train got crowded. Lots of people got inside the wagon. Three girls opened the door of the cabin and sat. They were talking in Czech. The silence that I liked so much disappeared.

One of the girls presented herself to me. I don’t remember her name. She was cute and had a gentle way of speaking. She asked where I was from and if I liked Czech Republic. I remember now that she was studying History at the university and was really interested in Brazilian history. We talked about some other stuff till the other Brazilian break in the conversation. No one understood anything. The three girls looked each other, they said something in Czech and started laughing.

- Are you French? – the one talking to me asked the guy.

- No, I’m Brazilian too. Everyone says that when I speak English I have this French accent.

I must had been an angel with all my patience… the guy broke in the conversation to talk about nothing. What an annoying guy. The girl was trying to talk to me and he was interrupting all the time. I was thinking to kick his balls to see if he would shut up for a while. But it was just some thought. Damn this dush. But there was more. Like it wasn’t enough, he started telling the girls the same story he was telling me, but this time in English. I thought I would ask someone to kill me. The same story again? What the heck! “I loved Berlin, because Berlin is fantastic, Berlin is perfect, because I saw a dog pooping on Berlin’s wall... Damn it!

I couldn’t handle that anymore, not even the girls. They gave their back to the guy, but even though he didn’t stop talking. They were lucky because they left before Konin, but I had to stay there because the other cabins were full.

He asked me how to get to the city center in Prague, because his hostel was located there, and how he could buy tickets. I explained everything, it was enough for us to arrive in Prague and I managed to get rid of the plague. Hehe.

It was the end of the trip, with no breaking, no cold (of course in Mordor it was cold), no “Russian”, but with an annoying dude that didn’t stop talking. It was time to go to the Hakkinen’s. I wouldn’t have trouble with the time as it was still 6pm.

BR Na Europa!

Momentach Łódź

I woke up around 10am and dressed up. We arranged a meeting and we’d go out to see the city. Actually, I wasn’t really interested to see the “gray world” of Łódź. The first impression wasn’t the best, but if everything was arranged there was no reason not to go. What should not happen was me staying locked inside the hostel waiting for the time to go home. 

It was less cold that morning, around -14 ºC. I could feel even some warmth. Haha. I took a shower to take out the smell of bed of my body, dressed and waited for Priceless Girl to appear. While waiting, I decided to send my parents a message since there was free internet. 

Priceless Girl took a bit longer to appear. She was fifteen minutes late. We took one of those urban trains and went to the “city center” where she would show me some stuff. We visited place called Manufaktura (an old factory that became a mall and entertainment center), Plac Wolności, Ulica Piotrkowska (ulica = street) and some other places. 

- Why don’t you take any pictures? – Priceless Girl asked. 

As you all know, the smart guy here forgot the camera. I had to explain that I had some memory lapse and left it in Brazil, since then, I was trying to memorize the places to remember them in the future. It was really a pity, but what could I do? 

We stopped to have lunch around 14h. I was so hungry that I could eat a grilled horse. We went back to that Manufaktura mall and ate a pizza, had a beer and talked. Her mobile rang and in the middle of the conversation she said: 

- No, no. I am having lunch with a friend. 

A friend? No my dear, you had to give me the right label. Of course the conversation was translated to me later because I can’t understand Polish, but she should had said that properly, shouldn’t she? 

- I thought I wasn’t your friend, but your boyfriend. – I released the bomb. 

- Boyfriend? But you didn’t even ask me for that… 

- Was it needed? Haha. 

And that’s how the relationship started. I’m not 100% romantic, not even a Don Juan de Marco. To be clear I just released the bomb and waited for it to explode to check her reaction. I started to like the small blond girl, and if I was going to stay longer in Europe why not to have a nice relationship with someone special? Ok, ok I was really quick but I felt some nice vibration coming from that girl. She had something that attracted me and I didn’t know what. I’d never felt something like that. 

- From now on you lady present me as your boyfriend. 

And that was what happened in my first day in Łódź. I didn’t really likeed the city. It was too “underground”, sad and depressive. Of course Priceless Girl disagreed with me. She was proud of the city where she lived. Maybe it was the snow that covered everything like a duvet, or even the cold weather that didn’t let me enjoy it, I didn’t know. The only thing was that I was enjoying being by her side. 

She invited me to have dinner in her place again. She also said the meal would be better than the night before. It should be like that as we needed to celebrate our first day as girlfriend and boyfriend. Haha. We went to her house on foot. It wasn’t that far away. Twenty-five minutes of walk I guess, but in that cold weather everything seemed to be far away. We passed through some strange and creepy streets. If it would be in Salvador I would never pass in such places. 

We arrived at her place and ate some Polish food that I had no idea what was; certainly something with potato. A wine, some conversation and a night full of love. Everything was really well in Łódź. Thank God I bought tickets that were opened, if not I would go back to Prague that Sunday, but I decided to stay for two days more. I was still tired of the first trip and started liking even more the “girl from internet”. We took some photos to save that moment. 

Priceless Girl and I

Days were passing and I was starting to be out of clothes. I needed to go back to Czech Republic to take back my stuff. I was having a good time in Poland, but to stay there without things to dress was getting difficult. I promised Priceless Girl that I would be back as soon as possible. My trip to Czech had another meaning as well. While I was in Poland I read that the EU was giving some financial help for people who would like to start a company. Maybe it was the way to stay in Prague. So that was what I needed to check. 

The goodbye was a bit sad, but I wanted come back to Łódź and that was for sure. The crying face of the blonde girl didn’t stop me. I really needed to go or I would have to buy lots of clothes in Poland. On Tuesday she went with me to the train station and waited for the train to departure. I would make the other way around as the first trip. A goodbye kiss and I got inside the train… the last wave goodbye and the trip to Prague started. 

BR Na Europa! 

Łódź - Day, ops, Night 1

The first day, I mean, night in the city of Łódź was really nice. Priceless Girl took me from the train station straight to her house to have dinner, and after that she would take me to the hostel I would stay. 

I was terrible. I smelled like beer, my eyes were like dead, I was cold, tired and really, really asleep. I guess that if I stayed one more hour inside that train Priceless Girl would have to carry me to the taxi. A trip that should’ve taken nine hours extended to eighteen hours was like a proof of perseverance. Almost a day feeling cold inside those trains was too much for me. Finally I would have a good meal and take a shower. 

We took a cab and went to her house. I had no idea of the first impression she had of me. My bad smell could kill any chance I had with that girl. She was much prettier personally than in photos. We were talking in the taxi and I was saying why it delayed so much for me to arrive. 

- I don’t believe it! Did it really take that much? – she asked. 

Sometimes I don’t believe in what happened to me since I arrived in Europe. It was too much bad luck for one guy. Of course good things also happened, but it is much easier to tell some strange fact in an interesting way than nice things that occurred. 

While I was telling my story I was taking a look at the city. It was really gray, no color… It was covered by snow and ice everywhere. It really seemed depressing. We approached her place. We were in some kind of apartment complex near a park. There were old buildings in the place. We went upstairs and she opened the door. 

- Please, don’t look at the mess. As you know, I just moved in and there are lots of things to do. 

It was a small apartment but comfortable. I felt the warmth coming from the place… Ahh, it was everything I needed. I entered and passed through the corridor. She showed me the kitchen, bathroom and her room. That was it and so I understood how I couldn’t stay there. If I’d stay there we would have to share the bed, that wouldn’t be a bad idea, but could be strange so sudden. 

I asked her if I could take a shower before dinner and she gave me the honor to use her bathroom. I got inside and left my things. She started cooking, some pasta for sure. But I wanted to do one more thing. So I went to the kitchen to talk to her: 

- Sorry, but I forgot to ask you something. 

- Do you need anything? Soap? 

- No, not really. I know that these things we don’t ask, but can I kiss you? 

She looked at me with wide eyes and that was my turn. I went closer and kissed her even though I was smelly and looking bad. She didn’t have a choice. I went to take my shower happy while she recovered herself from the “Great Impact” of “the Belino’s Kiss”. Listen, I’m no Don Juan neither slippery as you might be thinking, but I waited a lot to kiss her and when I saw her for the first time live the feelings were strong, that’s why the kiss. 

After my thirty minutes shower to take out the bad smell, we had dinner and a great time but I needed to go to the hostel to sleep. If her mom knew I was there things wouldn’t be that nice. 

We took another cab and she took me to a place that was close to her grandma’s house. There I would spend the night and we would meet the day after. I made the check-in, throw myself in bed and fainted. It was almost 2am after some wine and a great dinner with Priceless Girl. I really needed to put my head on the pillow. That’s how my short period started in the city of Łódź. 

BR Na Europa!

The Worst Trip of my Life - Final

The last part of the trip seemed to be normal. With no snow, just cold like hell, I prayed for the train not breaking again. While I was accommodating myself in the cabin a woman approached the door and got inside. She wasn’t pretty and I also think she didn’t even worth a night stand. She took off her warm clothes and went to the window to talk to someone.

I was observing from my seat, but didn’t give much attention. I took my old chIpod with really low battery and put some nice song to relax a bit. It was day and maybe I wouldn’t suffer other attempt of someone trying to steal my stuff. I was just worried about the place where I should get out of the train. I didn’t know where, I mean I had the name of the station written down but the way things were happening and after seeing the Katowice’s train station, it wouldn’t be surprising if the station sign would be covered by ice or even broken.

I saw the woman waving to the guy outside, he was a Polish man for sure. She got into the cabin again and closed the door. Thank God she closed it because the cold wind was getting inside and the heaters weren’t working properly. The train started moving and that was the beginning of the last part of the trip.

The woman opened a book and I notice through the cover that it was an Italian novel, so I thought myself: “Once someone told me that Italian girls were the prettiest, what a disappointment”. And I’m not kidding, she was really ugly. She had that face of crazy woman, like those that in bed can depilate you with hot wax and after the depilation throw more wax just to glue you in bed. So I didn’t say a word. Just looked through the window and enjoyed the white environment.

After one hour and a half we stopped at the third station, the problem was that the train didn’t go further after that. You don’t need to guess what happened, right? Exactly, the wires were frozen again. It was too much bad luck in less than twenty four hours. I was tired of that, but I just couldn’t go back. I was close to my final destination and go back to Prague from there could mean ten more hours inside a train or even worse, another encounter with “The Russian”. There was no other way than go forward.

While waiting the “Italian” stopped reading and looked at my face.

- Excuse me, do you have any idea of what happened?

- Yes, probably the wires are frozen, that’s the reason that also the heaters stopped working. We are out of energy.

- Oh, OK. Do you know how much is it going to take?

- No, I don’t speak Polish, but last time it happened it took around three hours.

- Hmm. I hope it doesn’t take long. Where are you from? – and so she started the cheap talk.

- Brazil.

- Do you live here in Poland?

- No, I’m just sightseeing. I came to visit a friend.

- Ah! Me too, that guy I was waving was a friend of mine from Katowice. I’m going to visit other friends in Lodz and Warsaw. After that I’m going to Norway, and then I’m going to Paris to see another one, and finally I’m going back to Italy

Yeah, she was Italian. But how come she has all those “friends”? If it would be the way I was thinking, she was really, really naughty. Haha. I didn’t care. She wasn’t pretty, and with all those friends, it wasn’t for sure something normal. I put the chIpod again while the cold was getting to the cabin. The Italian girl understood that I didn’t want any sort of conversation, but sometimes she looked at me with a smile on her face. “I won’t pick you up young lady, you are out of my league” I thought myself.

That was hell for sure. I was certainly paying all my sins with all those waiting and breaking till I got to my final destination. This time the trip was a bit shorter, one hour and a half. During this time I decided to take a nap. Sometimes the heater worked and warmed a bit the cabin to make us happy, and suddenly stopped again. It was really cold and the small amount of heating was enough to cheer me up.

When finally we departure I thought I saw the Italian praying for the train not to stop again. And thank God it didn’t. That was unbearable. Cold, hunger, thirsty, tired, smelling like beer… everything was mixed and made my day horrible. You must be thinking: “Why didn’t you pick up the Italian to warm you up a bit?” She was ugly dude, I’m not kidding.

The train was approaching its final destination. The “pretty” Italian was leaving one station before me. I was going to Kaliska, a station close to Priceless Girl’s house. She probably was waiting for me. My heart started beating faster, this thing of meeting someone that you just talk through internet is always complicated. The Italian left in Widzew, as I said a station before. The train continued its way and finally I saw the sign: Kaliska.

I went out of the warm train to that freezing cold and saw a cute blond girl, all covered with clothes that I couldn’t even recognize properly, waiting for me. And after long eighteen hours trip I welcomed her with a smile and said:

- Hey! How are you doing?

BR Na Europa!

The Worst Trip of my Life - Part 3

I had one hour and a half before the next train to Łódź. I was shivering because of the cold and as I said I needed a coffee or something hot urgently to warm me up, but before it… I needed to pee. As I had drunk lots of beers and just went to the toilet once because I was afraid of the “Russian” appearance, I was dying to pee. 

From far away I saw a sign. It was inside some place. Can you believe it? A public toilette inside some store. I stopped for a while at the cash machine to withdraw some money. One hundred Złotys (around 36 dollars) ‘cause I had no Polish money with me. I ran desperate with my backpack to the store. When I got at the toilette door someone stopped me. 

- Nie, nie, nie! Dwa złoty! –one guy who was at the door said. 

What the hell is “divá i zuote”?! I knew nothing in Polish and the guy also talked like he had something inside his mouth. I saw an old lady sat in front of the door. Seemed to be the owner or something. Under her chair there were some cleaning products, so I understood the situation. I needed to pay for using it. I just didn’t care, I was almost peeping myself, if it would be twenty I would pay. I took the one hundred out of my pocket and gave the old lady, asking her to prepare the change for when I’d be back. I went in desperate, took off my trousers and found nothing! I’d never seen my penis so small, the cold made it ridiculous! I felt half-man, so half-man that if it got smaller I would start talking like a lady and would call myself Belina. What a situation! 

I did what I had to do, put one more underwear and got out of the toilette. Inside was cleaner than outside thanks to the old lady. The station was smelling like pigeons, they were trying to protect themselves from the cold. I went out of there relieved. When I passed through the door I was about to get my change with the old lady that was still sat there. The man that complained before started to shout at me and gave me back the money. Ow?! Is there something wrong with it? I just withdrew it. Yes, there was… I gave her Czech money. ¬¬ 

After solving the situation and apologizing for the mistake, I took my change and went out. The cold inside the station was just unbelievable. I saw a small store and bought a hat and another pair of gloves for me to put over the ones I was using. I paid and headed to the coffee shop. When I got inside… Ahh, the warmth was so nice… that was heaven inside the hellish Katowice station. I asked for a cappuccino and a chocolate cake. I needed some energy after the “Russian” dilemma. 

While I was eating inside the tiny and warm coffee shop, a group approached speaking English: 

- Oh man, where the hell are we? This is hell! That’s all your fault! 

I knew what they were passing through. I was asking myself the same thing over and over. How can that creepy city be part of an European Union country? And worse, what the heck was I doing there? Who knows. Meanwhile a Polish guy got closer. He wanted to sit at the same table I was. The coffee shop was really small and had few tables, three if I do remember properly, and I was in one of two chairs. I allowed him to sit, cause I’m a good guy. 

- Where are you from? 

- Brazil. 

- Hmm, really nice. It’s always warm there, right? 

- Depends. 

- I always wanted to visit Brazil. 

Oh gosh! The guy said that blinking the eye to me. One more gay in this trip! It was too much! Enough! 

- Good luck, you will like for sure. 

I drank the coffee really quickly and left the table. God, so many gays… it was too much. Then I went to some benches that were in front of the information desk. I preferred to feel cold than to face that guy again. I still had half an hour till the train arrives. I took a look at the bench and sat. After two minutes I started freezing. I couldn’t handle sitting. I had the same experience in Prague, but minus twenty three degrees was too much for me. I saw a board showing the train lines in Poland and went there to check. I needed to move a bit or I would be frozen there. Maybe I would see some cities where the train would pass until it reached the final destination. 

I was there looking at it and reading lots of strange city names. I just knew Warsaw and Krakow, the rest I’d never heard about, not even the place I was going. While I was looking at the board two girls approached. Would it be my lucky day and I would have two beauty queens to warm me up? Actually just one, because the other was really ugly. So they came closer to me and the pretty one started talking in English straight away. 

- Good morning, sir. I can see that you are foreigner. We are here to talk about tour church and the event we are promoting for this weekend. We would like you to confirm your presence there. Do you go to church? Blablabla 

She didn’t stop talking for a second, and give me a break, it was the Polish version of the crazy Brazilian church called Universal. It wasn’t enough for them trying to trick people in Brazil, now here as well. I tried to be polite with the girls because one of them was cute. By the end I received two books and a kiss on my cheek. At least something for my patience and it wasn’t the gay from the coffee shop. 

The time to go was close and I went to the platform. I identified the train looking at the small board on its side. I got into the train, looked for an empty cabin and sat there. Inside the train was nice and warm thanks to the heater. I really needed that. I took off the loads of clothes I was using, sat, turned on the chIpod and waited for the departure. 

To be continued... 

BR Na Europa!